long time

so much has occurred. i don't know where to start. ok, nothing very dramatically life altering or whatever. i think the grammar was off on that sentence. and life's been good alhamdulillah. just the random confusions here and there but it wouldn't be life without them...right. i think.

hmm. i think i'm just being a drama queen :rolls eyes at self:

i've lots to be thankful for alhamdulillah.

should write more later.

sleepy

sunday morning and i'm sleep deprived beyond belief. i need my beauty sleep dammit. woke up early to help the madre with preps for a lunch dawat we're hosting. i'm tired and thoroughly not in the mood to entertain people. but eh.

SLEEP I NEED SLEEP.

ahahusdkjas

on another note, i know i'll sound like a total juvenile when i say this...

but ok forget it. sigh. some things...they're better left unsaid.

migrained out

So wow, I was really really ridiculously annoyed for like an hour or so earlier..but I’m over it. I totally wanted to break something though…like peoples faces (it was out in public). Just kidding.

Or not

Anyyyyywayy so like happy 4th of july….*rolls eyes* no one cares this year. I was telling a friend everyone is too busy mourning over getting fired and being broke to care about being patriotic. I think in fact, that this is probably the least patriotic independence day ever since the one after Sept 11th, 2001, when everyone was all about LET US ALL UNITE IN THE FACE OF TRAGEDY and waving flags

And now everything is majorly screwed. The economy is gay. All these newly graduated college students I know can’t find jobs and stuff.

So WOMENS TENNIS FTW! (for the win…geek wannabe terminology) EURO is over but I’m watching Wimbledon 2008. Williams VS Zheng was a heck of a game yesterday.

I have a migraine again. I’m almost certain it’s from sleeping at ungodly hours and spending the day being unbelievably physically active..and my hunger mechanism is going through a midlife crisis because it’s trying to adjust to my craziness because I been turning things up a notch here and there…sigh.

Listen to this song, tis amazing: http://youtube.com/watch?v=W_jA2ab-6_I

The beginning is so hot.

Hmm, I’ve been getting a lot of spam text messages..in fact my mom has been as well. They keep inviting us to CLUB PARTIES. Wth right? I even get calls from such numbers that I do not answer…so weird.

I think I might change my number but I’m not sure.

At Jummah today I met some girl from the internet who’s in town for a while for an internship with the local newspaper. It was rather strange/weird but we seemed to get on normally. Twas funny. Ive met people off the internet before but this was really unplanned ..pleasent surprise nonetheless.

bouncing off the walls

Currently have whitening strips on my teeth. Mouth tastes like a crappy version of mint. Barf.

I can’t stand looking at my eyebrows. They get hideous by the day. I haven’t gone any longer than 2 weeks without getting them done so it’s especially hard for me. Just 4 more days and it’ll all be over.. patience. I would’ve never waited if I was working or going to school..good thing things worked out so I’m mostly home. But we still have a busy weekend full of people ahead of us. So I’m annoyed cuz I WANNA DO MY EYEBROWS. Ajdfkdsla;. Ok patience. One of our desi aunty friends told me I need to stop being obsessive about my facial hair removal and she’s a beautician.. she said I can afford to go a little bit longer than most people are normally able to without looking hideous and I was just like um no. and then she was like, fine..how about you grow them out and I’ll be the judge.. (she works out at my gym too) and I was like um no NEVER AUNTY YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111 and now, unfortunately I was forced to grow them out but aunty went to Pakistan so I cant even show her.

I have issues.

I need to get my nails done. And buy new matching shoes for the wedding festivities. And I need some desi style jewelry. Aaaaahhhh. I shopped a little too much at the conference last weekend. I bought like 8 or 9 articles of clothing…mostly skirts. I’m turning into a shopaholic. Helpppppppppp GOD.

We have to drop of Mano and Ally Baba to the Pet Resort/Hotel on Wednesday. They’ll be there until Monday or Tuesday of next next week. Sigh. I’m gonna miss them soooo much.

I watched some crappy TV last night. This is NOT good. I do not watch crap TV. I am not mainstream *repeats to self into oblivion* the only things I can stand watching are Discovery/TLC, food network, animal planet, comedy central (just SOME shows)…and yeah that’s it. I’ve gone months without turning the TV on.. in fact, we got this new remote add on thing that I didn’t even learn to operate until like, 6 months after we got it because I didn’t care and watched some things online. The only thing I knew was HOW TO TURN IT OFF. But recently I’ve been watching more TV than I’d like to, probably due to free time.

DEATH TO TV!

I also am in love with my new trance playlist. It’s the best thing for running..sigh.

Speaking of which, I’m annoyed by myself because I have realized time and time again in the past few months that I am SOOOOOO focused on physical strength and growth. Like, no other really. I wish I cared just as much or that I was just as anal about spiritual growth. I mean I care, just not equally as much I feel. And it bothers me. I mean, what good is running a 5-7 minute mile (inshaAllah one day soon) gonna do me if I don’t have my Deen down right.

Ugh.

On a tangent, why in the world do people still write CHECKS? I hate checkbooks. I hate dealing with paper. And checks are SOOO old school.. I don’t even know where all my checkbooks are. Anyways…the most annoying thing is people who write checks in the grocery store aisle and take forever and a half to get the line moving. GOOD GOD. Get a debit card insha’Allah. And relieve us all of our suffering.

Yesterday I ate a bunch of crap. I am ashamed. But it was damn good.

*dies*

here's one of the raps I wrote earlier this year that's well...a good reminder to myself...especially in light of my concern for myself about spiritual growth. ideas just ain't gonna cut it.

1, 2, 3 check
you play one card,
i throw you my whole deck.
yeah, risk taker, that's what they call me,
leaps come with a thrill,
imaginations boring cheap and free
1, 2, 3 action - that's my forte
i'd throw you a mind game,
'fraid yo brains got a case of decay.
so if you got will power, determination, and physical strenght
dont just sit there,
take it all the way to the military camp.
but if you into ideas, dreams, and contempt
brace yourself.
the horizons warn me of your mental sunset.



jummah mubarak.


199 days til Baby Niecphew makes his/her way into the world insha'Allah. :-)

signs

Lately I feel as if I’m on my way right into a sunset, except I’m walking on eggshells so it’s kind of like, anything could go wrong any second. It definitely has everything to do with perception. Things aren’t perfect but pretty close to my idea of perfection (relatively speaking) with regards to the kind of progress I’m making in certain areas and the way things are panning out for me in other aspects as well alhamdulillah. It’s actually just kind of scary. I think it’s stupid I’m always on the edge waiting for something really disastrous to happen. Or maybe I just feel like this newfound contentment outlook will just kind of deteriorate or that I’ll get bored of it or something. Like what a juvenile thought *rolls eyes at self*

I need to grow up and just count my blessings and keep in mind that good things happen just as frequently or randomly as ‘bad’ things.

21 feels like it’s going to be an amazing year, Insha’Allah.

In other news, I have to grow my eyebrows out because they got to being really thin given how frequently I get them done. I didn't want to be 25 and look like a Latina (they're famous for having eyebrows so thin they look like they pencil'ed them on..and actually often they ARE pencil'ed on)

Anyway so it's a frustrating process..I'm not down with untamed eyebrows. Everytime I look in the mirror and focus on them too much I want to use my plucker but must resist..one more week to go and they'll look PERFECT, IA.

Moving on...adolescents are so interesting. My brother turned 13 earlier this year and he's going through all these changes..including moodiness central. And I'm just really trying to be patient (and sometimes failing at it).

Official half marathon training plan is in action..kind of frustrating because I'm doing the very moderate plan so it's basically like a piece of cake right now. Doesn't really get that intense, but you end up achieving the same goal. I need to take it slow because I often don't know when to stop and that means I increase my mileage by too much at the wrong time then suffer for it for weeks..

Plus, I'm doing my other advanced classes at the gym at the same time so.. yeah I'll take the moderate game plan

I still gotta blog about a lot of things...I was riled up about them earlier this weekend but ended up getting no time to jot them down. so now I'm just being lazy.

In due time..or perhaps certain things are just not meant to be voiced.

theme of the year

I turned 21 two days ago, on the 29th of June. I kind of can’t digest the fact because I guess, I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. 21st birthdays are way too hyped up in this society.

Anyway, strangely enough I have a theme for this year…which is to utilize time better with regards to my religious obligations (ban idle talk from my life) as well as to become more punctual overall etc. Insha’Allah I’ll make progress in this area.

How I arrived to selecting this theme is a story in and of itself. It’s almost as if Allah sent me a reminder or something. I feel honored but at the same time it’s kind of nerve wrecking because I know I’m a weak human and I’m not entirely sure how I’ll do.

So the mini story about this theme..well..my mother named me after reading my name in Surah Al Asr and falling in love with it. It's been kind of like this well known thing in my family but I kind of forgot all about it in recent years (I went through this phase in which I hated my name because I never met anyone else who had the same name..not to mention it was spelled all weird and nobody would ever get it and plus I was a rebellious teenager so I gave myself a nickname which after 8 years I'm thoroughly sick of plus I grew up and realized that I like my real name a lot better and this is the longest run on sentence EVER)

So basically this weekend I attended a conference and this Surah happened to be part of their theme and was recited with its meaning every so often. On Sunday morning (also the day of my birthday) we’re sitting around after brunch and a speaker steps up and starts reciting the Surah. At some point I suddenly remembered how my mom named me after the Arabic word for ‘pious’ or ‘piety’ found within the Surah…and then I also remembered it was my birthday (truth be told I did kind of forget..I was so busy and involved in other things).
Then it just all hit home for me and I felt an out of the ordinary affinity for the meaning of the Surahs verses. Most of you should already probably know what it is but I’m going to paste them anyway:

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),

Verily Man is in loss,

Except such as have Faith,

and do righteous deeds,

and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth,

and of Patience and Constancy.

Pair that with a few other things and epiphanies that surfaced not too long after coming home that evening….and yeah, you get some sort of obsession with those verses. The echoing of them will not stop in my mind.

But I’m not complaining