theme of the year

I turned 21 two days ago, on the 29th of June. I kind of can’t digest the fact because I guess, I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. 21st birthdays are way too hyped up in this society.

Anyway, strangely enough I have a theme for this year…which is to utilize time better with regards to my religious obligations (ban idle talk from my life) as well as to become more punctual overall etc. Insha’Allah I’ll make progress in this area.

How I arrived to selecting this theme is a story in and of itself. It’s almost as if Allah sent me a reminder or something. I feel honored but at the same time it’s kind of nerve wrecking because I know I’m a weak human and I’m not entirely sure how I’ll do.

So the mini story about this theme..well..my mother named me after reading my name in Surah Al Asr and falling in love with it. It's been kind of like this well known thing in my family but I kind of forgot all about it in recent years (I went through this phase in which I hated my name because I never met anyone else who had the same name..not to mention it was spelled all weird and nobody would ever get it and plus I was a rebellious teenager so I gave myself a nickname which after 8 years I'm thoroughly sick of plus I grew up and realized that I like my real name a lot better and this is the longest run on sentence EVER)

So basically this weekend I attended a conference and this Surah happened to be part of their theme and was recited with its meaning every so often. On Sunday morning (also the day of my birthday) we’re sitting around after brunch and a speaker steps up and starts reciting the Surah. At some point I suddenly remembered how my mom named me after the Arabic word for ‘pious’ or ‘piety’ found within the Surah…and then I also remembered it was my birthday (truth be told I did kind of forget..I was so busy and involved in other things).
Then it just all hit home for me and I felt an out of the ordinary affinity for the meaning of the Surahs verses. Most of you should already probably know what it is but I’m going to paste them anyway:

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

By (the Token of) Time (through the ages),

Verily Man is in loss,

Except such as have Faith,

and do righteous deeds,

and (join together) in the mutual teaching of Truth,

and of Patience and Constancy.

Pair that with a few other things and epiphanies that surfaced not too long after coming home that evening….and yeah, you get some sort of obsession with those verses. The echoing of them will not stop in my mind.

But I’m not complaining

phrenic root canal

I’ve got a lot of things I want to vent about. It’s funny… up until a few weeks ago the idea of getting back to blogging was dreadful because I drew a blank whenever I thought of potential topics to vent on.

Now, it seems as if every little thing has potential for me to just go on and on and on and on about. It’s a bit frustrating because I have a lot of ideas floating around in my mind, kinda getting jumbled up or lost but I know I’ll only remember so much. I could potentially make a list of everything I’ve been wanting to get off my mind but I’m too lazy. Maybe I will..in this post.

Anyone notice that I’ve used the word POTENTIAL like 3 times so far?

..Yeah, me either.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt like I have to write for the audience which is pretty nice. I mean, yeah, people I think are semi cool ;) have the link to this thing and I think they might want a glimpse into my cranial jargon (though I think most understand the way I think/feel about stuff in general) but ultimately, I’m writing because I have a thirst to let it out of my system. And being heard by people who won’t feel the need to be critical bastards is part of that selfish desire.

I got an NPR toolbar. I adore it because it has all the big city NPR stations on a cute little dropdown menu which I can access at any point and time with a simple click. Should’ve thought of it earlier. I went through a toolbar obsession phase during which I had a Google (mandatory duh), Amazon, and Dictionary.com toolbar because those three are like staples for me. Now I have my 4th staple : - )

Anyway.. things I need to write about:

1. Operation BRAINWASH 08 (I wish this had something to with the American media or the Bush administration or something political like that)
2. THE MOULDING PHENOMENON. Or molding. Whatever..i think it’s moulding. I cant be bothered to use my dictionary.com toolbar right now but really, moulded minds are molded..or molded minds are moulded anyways
3. The Traditional Females’ Role and the Evolution of My Perception of It Through Recent Years (it looks and sounds like a book title because I could in fact, write a book about it).

I also need to take pictures of the way my room looks now for this blog because it’s become a reflection of me finally.. and I need to show all my friends.

I am seriously undergoing ridiculous thought process alteration these days. Like, wow. I can’t believe how rapidly the solid frames of my mind are shifting. It’s like an earthquake in my mind that I kind of welcome, even though a lot of the changes feel like I have to extract a 100 year old tree with its roots from the ground sometimes. Others feel more like mountains with ice peaks that have finally seen and felt the warmth of the sun and are EVER SO READY to melt the hell away and obey the forces of a gravitational pull inevitable. At the same time, there is acknowledgement of the waters inherent nature and desire to take the shape of whatever, whenever whilst keeping its individuality intact. In short, I’m becoming a liberal feminazi.

Or not. I’ll explain in detail at some point. I gotta go now…more tonight.